THE ART OF LIVING AN ALCOHOL-FREE LIFESTYLE
Tip: #12 Choosing to be Okay
THE ART OF LIVING AN ALCOHOL-FREE LIFESTYLE
A series of one-off tips served with some straight talk, a bit of sass, and a penchant for not taking oneself or life too seriously.
Tip # 12: Choosing to be Okay
You may or may not have already noticed that many people in the world will adamantly and unequivocally be hell-bent on not respecting your decision to quit drinking alcohol.
It was 2017. I had already quit drinking well over a year prior and had been writing about it online for months. I was still very much in that delicious feel-good stage of having made the biggest (and, in my mind, the coolest) lifestyle decision ever. I was creating relationships with people in real life who had also quit drinking, and I felt like I was really part of something wildly important.
My husband and I were still living in NYC and on our way out to meet up with a group of friends. I don't remember what my husband said to me, but his comment prompted me to stop what I was doing and question him, "Wait, do people really think I'm crazy for what I'm doing?" As soon as those words came out of my mouth, for a split second, my husband's face flashed the hard truth, and my bubble burst. I had created a world that felt so good; I hadn't even considered that not everyone would be happy with me.
And once you see this reality, you can’t unsee it.
Fortunately, one of the best changes that comes from being brave enough to walk away from the thing that has a powerful hold on our lives and the lives of nearly everyone around us is that we then become powerful.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about this lifestyle choice. It doesn’t matter if strangers give me weird looks when I decline a drink. It doesn’t matter if people make fun of me or snicker behind my back. It doesn’t matter if I am not invited to as many events. And maybe the hardest to rise above - it doesn’t matter if another non-drinker judges me, dismisses me, or tries to make me “irrelevant” because I didn’t quit the way they quit or if I share my experience in a way they don’t like.
What matters most is that I am okay with myself and my choices from that very first day to day 2985 (today). In fact, I am more okay than I ever was throughout all of my drinking history, and this is all that matters.
And you, dear reader, will undoubtedly be okay.
This week for the paid subscribers, I will be sharing the story of the shittiest behavior I had to deal with since choosing to quit drinking. It’s not a feel-good story, but it is a story to remind others that they are not alone and it’s totally possible to be Okay in the face of pure assholery.
“It is not for others to reflect my merits back at me. You have tried to transmit this to me many times, but it is hard to hear and easily forgotten. Please help me remember that it is a miracle to be here, and that to disregard the miracle is to misundersand life. Each of us has purpose, and we don’t have to be in full comprehension of that to earn our place here. Drum into my cells that I get to be here without anxiety that I am enough.”
Honoring Worth. Prayers of Honoring Voice by Pixie Lighthorse
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I was at Kriplau this past week-end for R&R and thought of you. It was deeply healing after experiencing a huge loss this past summer. Coming up on 2 years alcohol free on November 20th, such a nice way to celebrate that. Thanks for reaffirming my decision to live alcohol-free 2 years ago. I think the hardest part for me is that I was a really fun drunk. People really liked when I drank because I made the night more fun. I had a lot of fun too but often woke at 3am with crushing anxiety about what I did/said and it stayed with me the whole next day. When I remember those moments, I choose over and over again not to drink and try to put aside my insecurity about not being fun anymore. So glad you are here!