17 Comments
User's avatar
Bethany Bunnell's avatar

Spot on! I've been with my husband since I was 20 and am now 61. As soon as I let go of my expectations of him doing what I wanted and reminded myself that I fell in love with him because of his confidence and free spirit - our marriage was back on solid ground. I told him that I planned to stop drinking in 2024 and he was sure. I stopped drinking for 2 years during the pandemic and I did miss our nights of splitting a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace. When I was sober, he didn't really change, he would open a bottle and drink half. Overall thought, his consumption went way down and he never was a big drinker. Thanks for sharing and reaffirming what I knew in my heart.

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

Bethany this is beautiful. thank you

Expand full comment
Caroline Beidler, MSW's avatar

Love this! My husband is also a drinker and has significantly lessened his consumption after witnessing the positive effects of the alcohol-free/recovery life. Thanks for sharing!!

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

Yes. I understand that this is not the case for everyone and may even be the complete opposite. And the analogy of taking the seat of the queen is knowing we will be ok if we stay with ourselves. Stay in our power. No matter what.

Expand full comment
Donna McArthur's avatar

The seat of the queen is a great take, thank you! I think it helped me that my husband didn't drink much when I quit but I agree that the decision must be solely based on what your own heart and soul are calling you to do.

Nagging at another to change is very unlikely to help them shift. "You're right Honey, your incessant nattering has made me calmly re-evaluate my actions", said no one ever!

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

Exactly, kind of like telling someone who is freaking out to "just relax"

Expand full comment
Donna McArthur's avatar

Absolutely!

Expand full comment
Tawny Lara's avatar

Queen Energy! Love this!

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

xoxo

Expand full comment
Amy Philbrook's avatar

Energy of the (a) queen. I’ve been searching for this exact idea. Thank you Mia! And I love how you explain it’s not about ruling over others, it’s about honoring your own heart. Love this and love you.

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

Yes, it truly has nothing to do with others and more about just staying in our own lane and taking the best care of ourselves. Love you back

Expand full comment
Nancy Glover's avatar

I didn’t have words for this exact thing, but I resonate with this so much. Drinking not only made me super critical of my Husband, but also of myself. Taking the seat as the Queen has shifted my home too. I just hadn’t thought of phrasing it in that way, but it’s so true. When I get overly tired, I can slip into that heightened critical state too. So interesting. Thanks for this one.

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

I too get crazy cranky when I am tired. I'm also just feisty to begin with as well....so it's always a work in progress :)

Expand full comment
Mieke_Rene's avatar

Queen Energy....yessss

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

Thanks for being here!

Expand full comment
Kelley L's avatar

I LOOOOVEEEEEEE this post Mia, thanks for sharing.

Expand full comment
Mia's avatar

So happy you saw it :). xx Mia

Expand full comment