THE ART OF LIVING AN ALCOHOL-FREE LIFESTYLE
Tip: #10 You Do Not Have to Play Small
THE ART OF LIVING AN ALCOHOL-FREE LIFESTYLE
A series of one-off tips served with some straight talk, a bit of sass, and a penchant for not taking oneself or life too seriously.
Tip # 10: You Do Not Have to Play Small
I recently did an AMA on alcohol-free travel, and a woman shared her concern about traveling with heavy drinkers. However, she ended with the question, “How do I not be the wet blanket?”
That comment set me on fire, and at the same time, I felt sad for her and anyone who thinks of themselves like this. Women often play small, hide, or make fun of themselves to not rock the proverbial boat. Why do we have to continue this behavior? I have seen and heard so many women present their choice not to drink as something to be ashamed of or to be hidden. You can hear their voice lower and see them get physically smaller as if they have done something wrong.
You know the saying you teach people how to treat you, well playing small, making fun of yourself, or apologizing for your choice will only invite others to treat you with that same low-vibe energy.
There isn’t a world where I would ever refer to myself as a wet blanket, especially for being teetotal. I don’t believe there is a lifestyle choice that has a more significant impact than the decision to stop using alcohol. This way of life goes against everything society tells us is normal, and we managed to choose another path. That’s cause for celebration, and I want everyone who has quit to know how to be their own hype man. There is too much at stake, and this is just too damn extraordinary to turn up with anything other than reverence and pride.
My tip, get over yourself. Seriously, remember Tip # 01. No one really cares. People are in their own worlds, so make the best of yours. Learn to honor yourself before expecting anyone else to do the same, and stop asking for permission to live your life the way you want to live it. People will respect you and any decision you make more when you show up and/or speak about yourself in a self-confident way. And if they don’t, well, F em.
I LOVE that book! And thank you for this. Because I still make fun of myself and play small around others and my choice to live AF, because I worry they will think I’m judging them for drinking. I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.
Wtf am I doing??!!! NO MORE. (I’m sober 7 years in one month).
I absolutely love this advice. I feel the same way when I’m around women who constantly apologize when no apology is warranted. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry---I want to scream stop f-ing apologizing for nothing. Choosing not to drink alcohol requires so much strength and courage in today’s alcohol obsessed culture. We should look in the mirror everyday and say “great job.” Thanks for all the great information and advice. I love it all.