Dinner Party
Hosting when you don't drink alcohol.
The Sober Glow Studio is an extension of what was started on social media circa 2016. As I have evolved, the topics I cover have naturally evolved. Here, I provide stories, recommendations, and resources on the art of living an alcohol-free lifestyle, navigating health & midlife, and anything that simply feels good.
Given the option, I will choose a dinner party over any other type of gathering. What’s not to love about sitting around with people I cherish and respect, eating fantastic food with zero rush, no bill to figure out at the end, and listening to music loud enough to create an atmosphere but low enough that no one has to shout. Unless, of course, the juicy story being told calls for it. And if I’m lucky, the guests can roll out from the dining room chair to the living room floor or the rooftop for dessert and espresso - which was once more like cigarettes and shots than dessert and espresso. Even though the ingredients of a dinner party may have changed, the energy and detail to all the senses do not have to change. In fact, without alcohol as the main event, dinner parties can become even more intentional and meaningful.
I lived in NYC at an age when not many of my friends wanted to have dinner parties (hello, bars!), and we certainly didn’t have the space to host them. So, when I started dating a man who owned a classic six off of Central Park and who enjoyed hosting dinner parties, my love for these intimate-style gatherings took shape.
I have never enjoyed loud environments and standing around (unless at a concert). So, going to bars—while yes, I made the best of it—was always a bit uncomfortable. I’m happiest with a seat and soft music that allows for normal conversational decibels, and I am all in.
The boyfriend’s dinner parties always began with a trip to the market, where he would take his time picking out the absolute best ingredients, most of which I was new to. Then, to the wine store to choose a match (or ten) for the meal that was to be made and any after-dinner drinks, typically bourbon.
Once back at the apartment, we would set the table with all the fancy schmancy—decorative and somewhat intentional—something the guests would always be surprised by, considering that we were all probably out the night before at NYC's diviest dive bar crushing natty lights.
This boyfriend was an expert in Hi-Lo. That relationship taught me a lot about appreciating the finer things in life but never taking any of it or myself too seriously. I also learned what dating a high-functioning alcoholic was like, but that’s a story for another time.
Anyway, back to dinner parties.
I have total faith that, if there is a desire, any non-drinker can host a party for other non-drinkers and drinkers alike. I understand that it may feel weird the first couple of times we do it, but like anything, it becomes easier and easier.
Dare I say, entertaining is even more enjoyable because I can stay connected to my guests by staying in the moment while simultaneously flirting with all my senses—and that is a side effect of not ingesting alcohol!
I know you may feel intimidated to host a dinner party or any party since you no longer drink - but it doesn’t have to be this way. Seriously!
Psst, if you feel it is unsafe for you to be around alcohol or particular gatherings that will trigger you in any way - ignore this email.
Last month, I celebrated my 48th birthday with my husband by relaxing at a hotel pool. However, if I were to have thrown a birthday party on a balmy summer night, it would go something like this ~
Event: Summer Night Birthday Dinner Party
Theme: Mediterranean nights
Guests: 6
Location: My home
Attire: Fun, flirty and comfortable
Time: 6:30 pm (I like to start early, so when I say 6:30, I know the guests will arrive by 7:00.)
TABLETOP:
These plates are to die for (also, sorry for the $). I like the food to stand out, so I lean hard on solid colors, and never patterns. Same concept, but you get more bang for your buck.
Long-stem glassware is not just for alcohol! Make everyone feel special.
Simple and not too precious napkins.
I find taper candles to be the ultimate in sexy dinners. Still, with more than two people, I prefer low-sitting candles to avoid any obstructions for guests.
Olive tree branches are lying flat across the center of the table.
MENU
Meditteranean mezze platter with a fun variation of the favorites. Figs, nuts, grapes, a variety of cheeses, honey, greek salad side, olives, peppers, prosciutto, arugula, crackers and flatbreads. Chicken kabobs and meatballs with tzatziki sauce. Fresh sangak bread to wrap it all up if so desired.
Fresh sangak - if you are on the west side of LA or visit your local bakery.
ATTIRE:
Since I am at home, I will be barefoot. I also politely ask guests to remove their shoes.
Throw on one of my signature styles, the silky slip dress (this one is a bit elevated). Also a great style for those of us in the itty bitty titty committee.
And since I am still not on the silver jewelry train, I am sticking with my typical simple and timeless gold pieces.
BAR CART:
I will absolutely have two different stations - one for NA drinks and one for anyone who may bring their own alcohol. Separating is key, but also make the NA bar cart gorgeous and extra special.
Giesen (I know I am a broken record, but it really is that great)
I love these (not pictured) for my Scorpio North Node
Add taper candles (not pictured) to the bar cart!
CURATING THE GUESTS EXPERIENCE:
Create your playlist ahead of time to match the mood you are aiming to achieve.
Set it and forget it with this portable speaker and your iPhone Spotify.
I love question/bonding cards. These are great for both people getting to know one another and for those who think they know each other :)
Lights for the end of the night rooftop gossip. They also work well in bathrooms and hallways.
Remember to make a trip to the restroom an enjoyable experience.
This home spray was a recent gift from a friend, and I am obsessed with how good it smells (scent Cece): “Cedarwood smoke, sweet cardamom, and white leather. Grounded, mysterious, and addictive.” I use it all around my home and in my car.
I always remember an excellent hand soap - this one has grit and makes for a pleasurable hand wash. Because yea, we all deserve pleasurable handwashes :)
Never let a guest leave empty-handed!
Have these on hand, and you will never have to deal with eating gobs of leftovers.
Who doesn’t love having custom matches around, either in the car, kitchen, or bathroom? A small token for your guest to remember their night at your home.
Happy hosting! M.
NOW YOUR TURN:
In the comment section below ~
Share your favorite tips, recipes, NA drinks, and hosting go-tos.
Share your biggest concern about hosting a dinner party now that you don’t drink.
This is so fun!
I host my bookclub a few times a year and my girl gang too. While both are female only, I'm a more casual hostess as far as setting the mood(or maybe lazy?). For my bookclub I serve both NA and alcoholic wines plenty of both usually two varieties of each. Funny as we've aged(60's and 70's) more of the ladies are turning to NA wines, citing sleep and of course driving concerns. So I'm luring them to my side(wink, wink). For my girl gang it's common practice no matter who is hosting to BYOB, so I don't need to acquire any alcohol for those gatherings, I just supply NA stuff for anyone who wants that. Same if I'm hosting a family dinner and I have two sober step kids so the alcohol is usually not around for those. All of that to say I'm comfortable with serving alcohol, but I know that's not the case for some.