Another way to make life a little easier.

Home gyms for self-saboteurs.

I am welcoming Sunday energy today. This past week at work was one of the hardest for layered reasons, which led to terrible sleep and very low energy. Life can be so cruel and unfair, and some days I see and have all the hope. But this week, I couldn’t rise above. It was just too intense. Yesterday, I didn’t want to do anything, let alone exercise. I didn’t even want to leave my bed. But I did what I could, given how low my energy was. I listened to the wise words of people much wiser than myself. I journaled, did some breathwork, pulled out my crystals, and tried to release the heavy, tense energy sitting in my body. I did everything I could to release that unwanted ball of anxiety that always claims a home on the left side of my abdomen, right under my lower rib cage. Nothing worked. That is until my husband pulled me from my misery and forced me to get dressed and get out of the house. We were invited to a book release event over on the east side of LA. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But it turned out to be exactly what I needed. I needed to be in a church, surrounded by other people, celebrating life and art while also addressing life's hardships and the fact that we are not alone, with the main message: have heart, soul, and hope.

So all this to say, which honestly was not going to be included here when I came to send this newsletter this AM, some days, moving the body is the last thing you want or can do. On those days, when things are really too heavy to do much, get out of your head and space and surround yourself with good humans doing good things. Find solace in that. No matter how hard life can be, we can still claim resilience.

The page I turned to this AM

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I am a self-sabotager. Historically, if something was good for me, I would without a doubt try it, love it, feel good doing it, and promptly leave it for dead. Gym memberships, subscriptions of all sorts, physical and mental challenges, drinking water, going to bed early, journaling, leaving my phone in another room, meal prepping, meditating, creating, learning…you get the picture. And I bet you are even nodding your head because you know exactly what I am talking about.

If you understand the concept of “it feels so good, I think I’ll quit,” then you are in the right spot.

I have always been an active person, but never sporty per se. Yes, I was on the track team, and I was good, but when boys and partying became my priority, something had to give, and since cigarettes don’t mix with running drills after school, I made my choice.

I was living in NYC when Classpass first came on the scene, and it was the best deal of the century. I was hopping from one boutique fitness club to another every day of the week. I was having a blast and working out a lot, but nothing made sense. But at that age, I could get away with overhitting one area and completely neglecting another. As we now know (or will find out), once you hit your 40s, shit goes sideways, and you have to reassess. You have to become intentional with your movement. You need a plan, and you must incorporate all areas of your body into it. Gone are the days of working your abs nonstop and completely neglecting your back. Or running endless sprints but skipping the warm-up and cool-down stretch every single time. Hmm, mmm, honey, no more of that.

When we moved to Los Angeles, I tried my hand at a fancy gym as well as a pilates studio that were close to my home, but even the relatively close distance couldn’t stop me from quitting.

Fast forward, we moved again with even more space, and I started having serious conversations with my inner self-saboteur. I had a choice: I could continue acting like a fool, thinking age would never catch up to me and that I would naturally stay strong and healthy, or I could take a good look at how I was actually feeling (not great) and get serious. But I had to do it in a way that would work for me. And that meant removing as much resistance as possible.

THE BEST INVESTMENT I MADE IN MY HEALTH.

OK, the second-best investment I made for my health (the first having quit alcohol, obvi) was hiring an online personal trainer. Some of you may already know Ashley from the Zoom workshop we did together back in 2022.

Movement & Accountability with trainer Ashley Poladian

Ashley taught me how to move my body safely while weight training. We worked together on where I was physically and where I wanted to go. She set up a personalized system for me, including macro tracking, something I had never done before. Had I not taken the time to work with Ashley, I am not sure I would be where I am today. She truly was the catalyst for helping transform my body. Within two months of working together, I started seeing results that I had been chasing for years through excessive cardio.

Also, I know macro tracking isn't for everyone, and I understand why. However, I found it incredibly eye-opening and learned that I was nowhere near the amount of protein I needed daily to build muscle, and that I was crushing fats, thinking I was being healthy, but overdoing it by a landslide. With macro tracking, I was able to balance it all out for my own personal needs.

Ok, this article is not about nutrition, but I wanted to share the full scope of what it was like working with Ashley. I highly recommend investing time with a personal trainer to learn proper movement, weightlifting techniques, and nutrition. Because it doesn’t matter how much you train if you are eating crap.

The other caveat to working with Ashley was the need for accountability. Whether it’s to someone in my life or online, I work well with knowing someone will hold me accountable when I can’t do it alone. And doing it via IG stories was gold for me.

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Recently, I posted this picture on IG

If you have been around here for any amount of time, you know I vowed years ago never to return to a gym. Even while working with Ashley and knowing that I might eventually hit a ceiling in what I could do at home, there was no way I would return.

Until a goal changed, and instead of thinking it through, I decided that the only way I would hit said goal was to join the gym. Like the picture states, I joined, went four times, hated every second of it, and quit (as of today, still paying and avoiding Brandon).

But this lesson wasn’t for nothing. I was reminded of my savviness and DIY mastery, so I figured it out.

My new goal was to build my shelf, my peach, my upper glutes, otherwise known as my ass. I wanted my training to become more glute-focused and less leg-focused. I thought I needed a Smith machine, a cable machine, a hip thrust machine, a back extension machine, and an abduction machine in order to make this happen. Turns out (well, I hope it turns out :)), I don’t. Here is how I updated my home gym and took what I already had and made it work for me.

Instead of a Smith machine or hip thrust machine, I purchased a hip thrust belt. It’s for dumbbells, but it also holds kettlebells. With this, you will also need a bench. But I used my coffee table for hip thrusts long before I purchased a bench.

Also purchased a hip thrust pad. This allows me to hold a very heavy weight comfortably across my hips for a variety of moves, such as elevated and single-leg hip thrusts, frog pumps, and glute bridges.

Instead of a cable machine, I purchased ankle straps made for a cable machine. These are a little S&Mish, but they add so much more variety. I connect them to two weighted bands that I wrapped around my Peloton. I use my bench from a distance and can get a full, straight-leg kickback, just as if I were at the gym. It’s brilliant and also my favorite new move.

Instead of the abduction machine (which was broken every time I went to the gym), I use a band and a dumbbell in the clam position/or in a standing position.

There really are so many ways we can use these simple tools to get the workout we want without dealing with gym bros, broken equipment, or germs. And my two favorites, no commuting, and I get to exercise in my pjs with zero f*cks about what I look like.

SETTING UP A HOME GYM

I like order, and I don’t like anything out of place or lying around. So every day, I am moving things between my husband's office closet and my little space in the center of the home, which I have claimed as mine.

The Essentials (honestly, none of this is essential, but it’s where I started)

• Dumbbells (variety of sizes, I have 1lbs to 40lbs)

• Kettlebells

• Bands with and without handles, loop bands, and flat therapy bands

• Ankle weights - I prefer the soft ones vs the trendy ones.

• A coach or smart program to follow

Have a plan. Don’t wing it! When I train on my own, I get sloppy, quit earlier than I should, and become inconsistent. Which gives me inconsistent results.

I want consistent results, which means I have to be intentional with everything. Which also means I have to work with discipline, not motivation, because I’d never do a damn thing if I waited for motivation.

The Extras

• Bench (I used our picnic table bench, coffee table, and padded chair for two years before buying a bench).

• Jumpsport rebounder - if you are going to get one, get a good one with a good spring. I have had cheap and Jumpsport, and there is a massive difference.

• All of the glute-focused extras above.

• I have had a Peloton bike for years now and rarely use it for anything other than zone 2 cardio while watching Netflix. If I were to purchase again today, I would get the tread instead.

• Weighted vest - go lighter than you think (I had to try three of them before finding my weight).

• Rack to keep weights organized.

• An oversized exercise mat. I keep mine hidden under a rug in the center of my home.

Recovery

• Foam rollers

• Therabody jetboots and Theragun

• Vibration plate

• Higher Dose infrared sauna blanket - don’t worry about buying the insert wrap, just use two towels and don’t go in naked! It gets way too hot. I have the same sweatshirt, pants, and socks I wear each time.

*For the first time ever, I am sharing some affiliate links with you all. Anything I share is what I personally use or similar if what I have is out of stock.

MEMBERSHIPS

• Caroline Girvan YouTube (free) unbelievable amount of content. I like her EPIC program the best, but she has a lot to choose from. Having a working knowledge of how to lift would be best before jumping in with her.

• EVLO ($55). This program was created by a physical therapist, and all the trainers are PTs as well. It is so smart! I literally just show up and am told what to do. You can choose how many times you work out a week, and the classes will be catered to your schedule. After watching Shannon (the creator) on a podcast, I was sold. Science-backed.

• MWH ($15) Love how much Melissa loves pilates. Kim, a newer trainer to the app, focuses on heavier strength training. Great price point. Quick classes.

• Ashley Poladian, the trainer I worked with for nearly two years. I learned a lot from her.

• Memberships I’ve tried since working out at home: LEK Fit. Join FORM. Pilates by Bryony. Swan by Carolina. I do love how I feel when I incorporate Pilates and barre-type workouts, but nothing moved the needle for me like lifting heavy weights.

• Walking! Not only is this much-needed quiet time for me, but consistent daily walks keep my bloating at bay and keeps me regular.

MOBILITY WORK

A quick word on mobility and aging. WE MUST DO IT. We have to take the time to warm up, cool down, and stretch. What is the point of getting strong if we can’t stand up from the couch without moaning because our joints are sore and stiff? Joint pain is no joke in perimenopause! This is my Achilles heel, so I totally understand if you skip it as well. I really have to turn off my brain when I do this, otherwise I am constantly thinking about all the other things I could and should be doing with my time.

• Mobility by Julia Rippel (free)

• Mady Morrison (free)

• Flossing

Whether you get all the things or none at all, the point of this is that we need to take care of ourselves in the way that works best for our individual needs. So if you are someone who craves community and loves leaving home for a workout class or to meet up with a group, do that. But do something. Moving our bodies will move our energy and just make life feel a little more doable.

I will be rooting for you from my living room, sweating it out in my pjs.

xx, MM