Vol 2.9 Who Are You?
You have to know who you are before you can put yourself first.
The Sober Glow Studio is a weekly newsletter providing stories, recommendations, and resources on the art of living an alcohol-free lifestyle, navigating midlife, and anything that simply feels good.
** This is a long email with a ton of fun resources, so you may need to expand or go to the actual substack platform to read it all.
WATCH: Sigur Rós Music Video Andrá. This video wrecked me. In 2003 my husband introduced me to Sigur Rós when they opened for Bjork out at Coney Island. I fell hard for the band and for my future husband. I kept it on repeat as I traveled w/o Joe throughout Europe in 2004. At my wedding, I walked down the aisle to Untitled #4. In 2016, the music held us in Radio City Music Hall as I held my husband, who had just lost his best friend a few days before. As an L&D nurse, when I was asked to pick the music, the babies would be born into this ethereal world. The parents were crying for the new baby, and I was crying because of this music in that profound moment. As I understand, this video is one of the products produced as the band put a call out to fans to create music videos for their songs. Since this newsletter is about getting to know ourselves, I wanted to share a little of who I am, the writer of these words. This music is a part of me, and I hope it moves you as it has moved me over the last two decades. This Monday, the band is playing in LA, and I will be there, crying, I am sure.
READ: It’s been a month since the world lost Jane Birkin. I’ve been slowly reading articles about her these past few weeks. I never really knew her other than being the non-French quintessential French girl. I loved her quote from SwissLife, as well as the articles Jane Birkin Gave Women Over 40 Permission to be Themselves and Jane Birkin Made the Simple Things Feel Luxurious, both in the WSJ. There are many, many more but these resonated.
LEARN: You Were Born For This by Chani Nicholas. “Astrology is a relentless reminder that we are the way we are on purpose, and that who we are has purpose, has value, has within it a blessing. The setbacks, difficulties, and challenges we face are all a part of what make us unique.” - Chani.
Get to know your uniqueness. Below, I offer several fun tools to dig deeper into yourself. So whether we believe or not in the stars and the magic, we must remember that life does not have to be so serious. We get to have fun with it all!
You no longer play small and certainly don't need permission to put yourself first, but you have to know who you are before any of this can happen.
So, who are you? What do you like? What are your values? What lights you up? What makes you content and satisfied? What activities genuinely make you feel at peace when you spend time doing or having done them? What makes you feel good?
When was the last time you took the time to check in with yourself?
Laying around watching TV or scrolling the internet is probably not the best way to get quiet and turn inward. Although that's probably what most of us are doing to relax and, quote on quote, do nothing. We rush and rush to get everything done so we can do nothing. And that notion of doing nothing is what many consider feeling good. But is it?
Is looking at a black screen what truly brings you the most joy in the world? Or getting all the laundry and dishes done first? Volunteering for all the school functions? Taking care of everyone's needs while you silently suffer?
I think not.
But how often have we planned something for ourselves only to put it on the back burner because something or someone more important came up?
How often have we set an intention to start doing that "thing" that makes us feel good, only to keep putting it off one more day, every single day?
How often does the feeling of guilt enter your body or the word selfish enter your mind when you give yourself just a sliver of attention?
I see this constant battle among us, and we make quiet remarks that so and so is selfish because she is working out, getting a massage, or shutting her bedroom door because she wants to read for 20 uninterrupted minutes. Or the pendulum swinging to the opposite, and remarks turn to so and so is dropping the ball, has let herself go, is showing up disheveled and in need of a haircut.
It's like we can't win. Not with ourselves or the world around us that seems to be judging us more than we are judging ourselves. And the one thing we don't need more of is judgment.
We know all the usual suspects, such as journaling and meditating, which I have shared here throughout this past year. Today is for the fun and simple ways of getting to know ourselves better. I have dabbled in all of these modalities and have found a lot of joy and tidbits that are spot on. And when we see ourselves in something, it can solidify what we already know to be true.
Scroll down to read up on the six ways we can play with learning more about ourselves. Plus more resources…..always more resources.