Joe finally sat down with me and talked a bit about his initial break from alcohol which has now turned into over one year of not drinking. The recording below is not a curated and overly edited podcast. It is a real and in-the-moment conversation between the two of us just this morning. Here, Joe discusses his history with drinking, how our relationship changed once I stopped, what was the catalyst that made him take the initial break from alcohol, where he sees this going, and some words of encouragement for anyone wanting to try it out for themselves.
Joe and I have been together since 2002, which is absolutely mindblowing that any two humans can stay together that long and still like one another, but I digress. Alcohol was the center of our relationship from day one to year 13, the year I quit (2015). We had a lot of great times together, some of my fondest and most cherished. However, it also nearly ruined us. Not alcohol itself, but what alcohol did to each of us while consuming it. Typically, I would have a wonderful time until my FBI agent came out, and everyone became a suspect. I was a fighter. Not physically, god no. But verbally, emotionally and you better believe energetically. When I turned, the party was over, and Joe knew it. When my fun-loving, up-for-anything, friends-with-everyone husband drank, his personality was simply heightened. Which turned us into oil and water.
It wasn’t always like this. Again, we had a shit ton of fun together most of the time. But the disconnect started happening here and there over the years and then more and more and more. That’s the power of alcohol. It works until it doesn’t. It’s fun until it isn’t. Most people who have quit drinking can clock this as they look back at their drinking timeline.
I don’t have any intention to get into the nitty-gritty of our relationship, but I do want to simply explain that it wasn’t so easy for us. We nearly broke. Actually, no, we did break. My point in telling you this is because I have had people make remarks such as “You’re lucky,” “must be nice,” “easy for you,” or “my partner left me” in a way that is heartbreaking to hear, but also, we don’t all have the same story. And that doesn’t mean I am not going to share mine. Not every relationship is going to survive. That’s reality. Joe and I were both done with our marriage. That was our reality at that time. But for some reason, we stayed together to see how things would go, and over time, it got better and better. But here’s the thing, I knew that no matter what happened between the two of us, I was going to be ok with or without him in my life. And I believed that fully. I still do.
I loved spending this time with Joe and being able to share it with you all. I hope wherever you are on your journey with alcohol or relationships, that we can offer you something of value.
Thank you for being here!
And Joe is most certainly sending you all big open-arm bear hugs.
Thanks for sharing this sweet conversation. I’m really glad you stuck together because you’re such a great couple who obviously support and love each other.