Vol 2.24 Dry January...
for the curious and for those of us who may need a revival in this lifestyle.
The Sober Glow Studio is an extension of what was started on social media circa 2016. As I have evolved, the topics I cover have naturally evolved. Here, I provide stories, recommendations, and resources on the art of living an alcohol-free lifestyle, navigating health & midlife, and anything that simply feels good.
You know that feeling you get when a friend is going to start your favorite book for the first time, or they’re about to binge your favorite TV series? We get envious of that newness they are about to experience. I feel that same envy towards any of you who are about to discover the beauty of living alcohol-free for the first time.
If January 2024 is the time you will commit to taking a break from drinking to spend more time doing everything you want to do with your life, welcome! If that last sentence just gave you hives, good. Not drinking and getting your life in order is not to be taken lightly, and it’s literally the best health choice you can make for yourself. As a nurse, I know first-hand how imperative it is to care for our health. Unfortunately, we typically don’t start to think about it until it fails us somehow. The same can be said for drinking alcohol. We usually don’t begin to question the act of drinking or why we are drinking until it starts to fail us. If alcohol has failed you in some way, you are not alone. Alcohol works until it doesn’t.
If I had to guess, most people who participate in Dry January are doing so because they know somewhere within them that alcohol is not always the best for them. They know that there is a better way. They know this single free-flowing liquid substance is somehow disrupting their life trajectory, but they just can't pinpoint exactly how. And that oh-so-powerful innate feeling is there within them. It's the voice that whispers to them every time they choose to put off a priority to go hang out at the bar. Or the back-and-forth argument they have with themselves about how many glasses of wine are appropriate for a Tuesday night at home or when attending a friend's wedding. It's that constant internal questioning that gets louder and louder over time.
And then they hear about something called Dry January that sounds like a fun challenge, and it’s socially acceptable in a way that won’t make them stand out when they say “no, thank you” to the offer of a drink, and they jump all in.
And if this is you, and you are all in, you may ask, now what?
The first thing I would tell you or anyone who wants to quit drinking is to be kind to yourself. I don’t care what got you to this point; nothing in your past would surprise or bore me. We all come to this place in life for one reason or another, and there is no one story that is “worthy” for you to want to quit. Whether you have been a heavy drinker since you were in high school, if you are a weekend warrior, or if you occasionally drink more than you intend, you do not have to prove yourself to me or to anyone.
Second, there is no one right way of doing it. Dry January may offer you a great window seat into what your life may look like if you remove alcohol once and for all, but how you get there is entirely up to you. A hundred sober people will tell you a hundred different ways how to quit drinking. Listen to it all, but only take what inspires you and makes you feel good with your decision.
Third, instead of looking at this challenge as losing something, look at it as gaining an opportunity to explore what matters most to you. This month is not about lack; it’s about abundance. When you remove alcohol, you are going to gain a lot of time and space. You will likely gain four Friday nights, four Saturdays, and four extra Sundays. That is a lot of time to be with yourself while not numbing out, not feeling hungover, and certainly not feeling shame or guilt.
Now, what will you do with that time?
Yes, of course, you could sit on your couch sulking, watching Bravo for ten hours a day because you think you can’t go out and be with your friends. And listen, maybe you haven’t spent a weekend at home in a long time and need to relax and watch some mindless TV. Or, perhaps you do that for one weekend, and then the remaining three weekends, you use the time to explore yourself more. Tune in and ask yourself: What lights you up? What makes you happy? What would you be doing with your life if you didn’t spend all that time planning the drinking, the time spent actually drinking, and then recovering from drinking? Not to mention all the money you could save and put towards something else.
I am a creature of habit. Whether it was eight years ago when I gave up alcohol or any time I have needed to reconnect with why I chose this lifestyle, I return to the habits that make me feel like myself again. These action-based habits have always offered me a way to connect with my inner knowing and sense of self.
Here are several ways to drop in and discover what matters to you most. And with this new knowledge, you learn what you can let go of.
These tools work for the curious, the newly sober, and those of us who have been alcohol-free for years.
READING
Quit lit has spread like wildfire. It seems a new quit lit book drops every month, which is pretty remarkable. Since there are so many to choose from, I suggest going to a bookstore, pulling some books to peruse, and seeing who and what speaks to you. Remember that you do not have to take on any labels, and if someone’s quit story doesn’t look like your own, you can still learn a ton from them. While I did not find my story in any books for many years, I learned so much from the authors and, most importantly, developed respect for every person, no matter what their experience was.
The non-quit-lit book I always recommend is actually the best quit-lit book, in my opinion. If you read this book through the lens of giving up alcohol, it will blow your mind.
JOURNALING
Listen, when you give up alcohol, you lose an easy way of numbing the feelings you don't want to address. So here is a friendly heads-up: those feelings are going to come up, and your new sobriety will force you to deal with them head-on. Journaling is one of my favorite ways to address these feelings in a safe space.
There are multiple ways to journal; some work better for me than others. I discovered what I refer to as my Fuck You journal sessions and the power of them years ago. This is where I write down all my complaints, everything that is going to shit in my world, who and what is pissing me off, and I get out all the anger and frustration I may be carrying around. One may call it a free-flowing bitch fest. I find this way of journaling to be the most cathartic.
This is not something I do daily. It is more like when I am bursting at the seams with emotion, and it’s my last ditch effort to release all the pent-up energy. And it works like a charm. But I have to be at the breaking point before I entertain doing it. I just saw that Huberman has discovered this way of journaling as well.
SILENT WALKING
We have so much on our plate, so many distractions, and well-intentioned people telling us what to do (like I am here) and how to do it from family, partners, kids, co-workers, TV, podcasts, books, blogs, vlogs, social media, etc. It can be a non-stop constant barrage of noise. When was the last time you were alone with nothing but your thoughts? On the rare occasions when my partner is not home, the house is quiet, and I can keep myself from all of the million distractions and to-do lists, I find some quiet time to sit with my thoughts. However, the best way for me to truly take a time out is when I leave my house and drive over to the park or the ocean, lock my phone in the car, and go for a walk.
This is different from meditation because we add the physical component.
You can google silent walking and find many recent articles on it, though I found this one summed it up nicely.
Do Walk: Navigate Earth, Mind and Body. Step by Step by Libby DeLana.
Libby is a great follow on social media and she has a sweet and quiet podcast with Alex Elle.
Whenever I am feeling stuck or uninspired, I take a silent walk. Without a doubt, these walks have the power to stir up so much creativity that I now walk with a tiny notebook and pencil.
ATTENTION TO YOUR ENVIRONMENT
Do you need to declutter and organize your mental chatter? Declutter and organize your home. How many of us who are feeling chaotic and a hot mess live in a chaotic, hot mess of an environment? Our homes reflect our internal state; you can’t argue with me otherwise. Even when my home is clean and pristine to the average guest, if I have a messy closet (typically my walk-in clothing closet), I am not addressing something going on internally. When I have something on the outside constantly trying to get my attention (messy closet, etc.), it is a self-sabotaging strategy for distracting my thoughts from the internal chaos I don’t want to address.
If I keep seeing this mess, I keep reminding myself to clean it up. I focus on that mess, which allows me to ignore the internal mess that needs addressing.
Use this month to clean up and organize your home, car, work desk, etc. Address the external environment to get closer to your internal environment.
Wherever you may be on this journey, remember to BE KIND TO YOURSELF. There is no destination, only the journey of a life lived well.
Thanks for this Mia! Did you mean to add a link for the best non quit lit book? Thank you and Happy New Year ❤️