Turning 50 and Telling the Truth
Do we really have it all figured out?
I don’t know anyone who has it all together, and the more I talk about my thoughts and feelings on aging, the more people around my age say the same thing. And they say it in that excited, finally, someone is seeing me kind of way with a SAME GIRL SAME-esk expression and opinions.
If you believe everything you see on social media, you would think that by the time you are 24, you will have your life completely figured out. And if you are at the ripe old age of 31 and you don’t have it all figured out, then you might as well just call it quits.
Heaven forbid you turn 50, and you still have questions. And if you voice them out loud….how cringe.
The truth is I just turned 50, and I don’t have it all figured out. Not even close. And I don’t think I ever want to have it ALL figured out. I like the unknown. I enjoy the element of surprise and anticipation of what the future holds for me. I enjoy learning more about myself and not being stuck in any certain way. I love being open-minded and willing to try and explore new things.
How boring to have it all figured out.
I understand that there are people who want this and who will do anything and everything to secure it for themselves. I am just not that kind of person.
Here’s the thing. I am 50, and I don’t know anyone in my life who has it all figured out. I know people who are working their dream job, but are still looking to share their life with someone. I know people who are superbly delightfully divorced and hate their job. I know people who never got over the fact that they couldn’t have a child, or a second child. I know women who are middle-aged and completely pivoting from a life they spent decades creating. I know people who wish they didn’t have children or married. I know people who are suffering and yet they have big ass smiles on social media and would never in a million years share any of their struggles with anyone unless they had a bottle or two of wine in their belly.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to have it all, know it all, be it all, that we inadvertently hold on to these tight-ass beliefs as if they are a universal truth with zero wiggle room. And we wonder why we don’t feel good. Why we compare our lives to other people’s posted lives.
Imagine thinking that at age 50 you must have it all figured out, and all your dreams have come true, and you were no longer in need of any more dreams, goals, or desires.
Imagine living your life without dreams at any age!
No thank you.
The last few years, I have purposely and slowly started following more and more women of a certain age. That is my age and older. And I have stopped following other accounts whose main goal is to preach and share perfection.
I want to read the stories of women who took a U-turn later in life. I want to hear about women who went back to school, left their lives, or created a new friend group of women who lifted each other up rather than competed and complained. I want to read stories of single women who are adopting babies and pets on their own. I want to be inspired by the 97-year-old woman who is wing walking and the 60-year-olds who are gathering at morning light to soak in freezing cold waters.
I want to be the woman who opts out of going on a fancy trip for her 50th birthday, and invites all her childhood friends for a special weekend away, celebrating the long life they have already been so lucky to have lived.
In fact, I am that woman.
I also want to dig in more to the things that bring me joy, even if it’s out there or makes no sense at all. I have always been multifaceted and had a wide variety of interests, and I want to openly explore all those things out loud. Even if it’s out of character, or something I should already know, or (and especially) if it’s cringe.
From a recent journal entry
What would it look like if I started writing and sharing about everything I want to learn and explore?