The Weekender ~ 001
CHOOSING TO MAKE IT FEEL GOOD
For some non-drinkers, the weekend can bring up feelings of worry, frustration, and dread. And it doesn’t necessarily matter how many days, months, or years you have under your belt. Will I be able to see friends without drinking? Will I be able to attend the event that I bought tickets to before I quit drinking? Will I have to sit home alone, hiding from everyone? Will people ask me questions I am not prepared to answer? Will I pretend there isn’t a full bar in the cabinet above my refrigerator? Can I still do XYZ if I don’t drink anymore? What the F am I going to do with myself? What the F am I doing with my life?
When worry is the first feeling, it’s hard to choose another. But we must. Since 2016, I have been sharing my perspective on choosing an alcohol-free life. Sharing my particular perspective on going AF wasn’t as acceptable as it is now, but my message remains the same. Everyone has the autonomy to make a choice. Whether we choose to quit and be mad as hell about it, or we quit knowing it’s about to change our life significantly in every way possible (and every perspective in between these spectrums), how we choose to look at it is ours and ours alone.
Of course, there are nuances to this conversation, but for clarity, I always want my readers to know exactly where I am coming from. Either we can fight it and be angry and pissed off at the world, or we can have the understanding that taking on such an endeavor will be hard, but we don’t have to be a miserable ass about it. Some people will resonate with this and me, others will not. But in complete transparency, I have never worried about being relatable to everyone.
This is how I have felt about my choice to quit alcohol, and it remains the same to this day, nearly ten years later. So when I share anything here, online, or in person, it is always from the perspective of MAKING THIS CHOICE FEEL GOOD.
No matter where your perspective falls, it is your responsibility to do the things that feel good to you. Remove the bullshit “shoulds” in your life and find the actual, real-life things that bring you joy, unapologetically.
I love to set myself up for success. Whether I want to stay home all weekend with the remote in one hand and a warm cup of coffee in the other, or I want to do all the things outside of my private space and sanctuary, it always starts with getting inspired. Whether that’s a good book, a podcast, conversations with other non-drinkers, or writing out a plan for my weekend, my goal is always to stay true to myself and to be honest with what will make me feel my best.
The number one thing that has held my hand since day one of choosing this non-drinking lifestyle is to find inspiration in anything and everything every damn day.
The Weekender is a super quick hit of inspiration in hopes of bringing you thought-provoking encouragement, comfort, and joy as you move through your weekend alcohol-free.
BOOKS
Whip Smart by Melissa Febos and Say Everything by Ione Skye. Two books I recently read about women who fell into self-abandonment and their way of coming back to themselves.
My Favorite Bad Decision by Elizabeth O’Roark. If you want a book to devour without much thought. On a BRAD (beach read after dark) scale, I would say the heat is 2 out of 5. But since I love romanticizing all things climbing mountains, this was a good book to snuggle up with.
QUICK READ
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMM…..
How many people are currently screaming about how they will never try HRT due to the risk of cancer (Via the incredbily damaging and since critiqued WHI study), and yet they spend years imbibing alcohol (an actual known carcinogen) without a second thought.
PODCAST
A POWERFUL Story of Overcoming Addiction, PTSD, & Bi-Polar Disorder | Cory Richards x Rich Roll
MOVEMENT IDEA
Group workout. Either join an event or create one yourself. Summer is going to start winding down soon and people are going to get busy once again, so grab your girlfriends and go for a hike, bike ride, or silent ecstatic beach dancing.
HAPPENINGS
Non-alcoholic beverage company launches two new offerings in Denver. (Author rant: Let me go on record that I thought the idea that there would be stores entirely dedicated to NA drinks and the sale of NA bottles was incredible, but as a primary business plan, I would never touch that. Prime examples, the VC-backed Boisson and sadly the small, woman-owned Soft Spirits, here in Los Angeles.) Anyway, when I frequent a bar or restaurant and am told that there are no NA alternative drinks other than iced tea or Coke, I love to start a friendly conversation with the bartender or server, and sometimes even management, about how popular the NA business is and how the times are changing. Even having one option on the menu would be appreciated by most. So when I read that a NA company is actually launching their new NA drinks in a bar, I thought that was pretty damn smart. Here’s the thing, we all know the NA world has taken off, for example, Ghia (a personal fav) was estimated to be worth 50 million after approximately 5 years of launching! It seems these days, people quitting drinking and looking for these alcohol alternatives are more in the camp of not drinking as a conscious and personal health choice (like myself in 2015), rather than a place of addiction and recovery. So the likelihood that these types of non-drinkers will still be looking for social experiences in bars and similar places is still relatively high.
So your weekend assignment, if you choose to accept, is to speak your needs at the establishments you frequent. If you want to see something on a menu, ask for it! Tell them why, tell them to investigate for themselves, and then reach out to your favorite NA companies and tell them you want their beverages at such and such location. The louder we get, the better it will get!
Cheers to your weekend and your life!
M.