THE ART OF LIVING AN ALCOHOL-FREE LIFESTYLE
Tip: #08 Feeling out your sober travel choices
THE ART OF LIVING AN ALCOHOL-FREE LIFESTYLE
A series of one-off tips served with some straight talk, a bit of sass, and a penchant for not taking oneself or life too seriously.
It’s a mood.
This one is a bit longer .…..
Tip # 08: Feeling out your sober travel choices
Italy 2021
I am currently in the throes of planning a solo vacation to Morocco. However, your girl is having some head-spinning moments - well, since I’m going to be over there, I should also go here, here, and here too. And in true Mia fashion, I have again overwhelmed myself with all the opportunities. What was originally a simple trip to Morocco with a few days of adventure and a five-day writing retreat has spun into me turning over rocks and planning sixty-seven alternative stops along the way to Morocco. I quickly learned that flying direct to Marrakech is not happening. With my flying boundaries, yes, I have them (they could also be called quirks/fears/demands or pure tyranny); I need to make the most out of the layover I would inevitably have. So that’s how I started down the rabbit hole of choosing where to do my layover. And from there, it’s become me turning that layover into an extended trip and staying in another city. But what city? And now it’s more like, what cities?
So here I am. I have researched nearly every flight route and carrier to Marrakech via Dublin, London, Paris, Barcelona, Lisbon, and Madrid.
As much as I love (solo) traveling, I love the planning part even more. It’s the challenge of finding the best deal for what I deem the right choice. And I am not talking about choosing the cheapest or fanciest option possible. I am talking about the FEELS, the energetics of travel. What feels best for me? I will choose not only an airline carrier like this but with beds, bathrooms, restaurants, transportation options, locations, and nearly everything with the mindset of - will this feel good to me when I am there? I have to plan an entire trip before purchasing a trip. I am not someone who can buy a plane ticket and then plan. I have to know every single detail before I make any purchase whatsoever. This entails me planning (no joke) sixty-seven alternative trips (with every detail) before I actually choose the one that works best for me before I hit that purchase button.
Jan 2016. Rincon, PR. My very first sober vacation. Me and my Red Dame SUP.
And maybe it has to do with age as well (yes, it certainly does), but my comfort level is a thing for me now, especially while traveling. When I was a young drinking twenty-something, I didn’t give two sh*ts where I stayed and how I got there. I prided myself on being able to stay in $5 huts on the beach, in random hostels in less-than-safe neighborhoods of big international cities, or on rental boats with people I had just met hours prior. Now, mmm-hmmm, no way.
Don’t get me wrong, there are hostels out there that are far better than any motel in the US, and in some places, those $5 beach huts felt better than some of the most expensive hotels I have stayed in. However, the difference is that I no longer blindly commit to just anything. For example, take the writing retreat I signed up for. I have been researching this genre of retreats for years, waiting for the right time, location, and host.
So whether you have traveled sober for years now, are looking to join a sober retreat, or you are going to travel sober solo for the first time ever….I’ve got your back, but you have to have your own back too.
And when it comes to travel tips, I’ve got you.
And when it comes to sober travel tips….I’ve definitely got you.
Here are a few.
PRE-TRAVEL:
Checking in with yourself. Are you ready to travel sober? And is this trip/vacation worth going on if you end up drinking?
If you are ready, write out all the amazing opportunities that may arise by going on this trip. Future tripping, literally. I love journaling about all the potential experiences I will have. Another term for this is manifesting :)
Prepare to have hella more time exploring on your trip than wasting time recovering from a hangover. You won’t need a vacation from your vacation!
Use this travel opportunity to reset.
PLANNING:
Don’t wing it. Prepare. Keep routines as close as possible. AM/PM routines, self-care items, MVMNT practices, all the things that help you feel your best.
Don’t forget your supplements, tinctures, and sleep stacks.
Research where you are going. For example, what are the popular NA drinks/mixers in Italy? After exploring this, I had a list of things I knew I could ask for.
Call ahead to places you will stay. Let your hotel/Airbnb know you don’t drink and remove any minibar items etc. Call restaurants and ask for AF menu options only. Find places that have AF options. Remove as many trigger opportunities as you can.
Know alternatives to wine/beer/liquor “tastings.” I did not know this beforehand, but a vineyard in Tuscany set up a balsamic vinegar tasting for me while my husband had the wine tasting. And they were happy to do so, which in turn made my day and made me feel so welcomed.
Castello Banfi Wine Resort in Montalcino. Joe having his wine tasting, and I having my balsamic tasting.
TIPS BEFORE LEAVING:
Download inspirational podcasts. Anything that makes you feel good. If I need a reminder of why I chose this AF lifestyle, I will listen to all the podcasts that encouraged and inspired me back when I was new to being a teetotaler.
If needed, have someone back home that you can check in with. Someone to keep you accountable. Again, only if you need this.
Know what you need, and do not be afraid to ask for it. For me, I need my own space if traveling with friends and yes, even with Joe as well. Speak up, tell people what you need to feel safe and feel good.
Airports can be the biggest trigger. Bring your own food and a refillable bottle so you have something in hand, and be prepared. In some places, you can now get a massage, manicure, and books galore. The lounges are great. However, it’s a free for all and could be a potential trigger with all the free booze they have.
Stay busy at the airport and on the plane. Great time to clean up your email inbox, photos on your phone, and contacts you no longer need.
TSA PreCheck or Clear. Not free, but can save you time sitting around an airport.
DESTINATION
Future trip here as well. Think about how you will feel when you get home and how good it will be knowing you did not drink.
Daily routines. MVMNT, take bands, use body weight (aka prison workouts), journal daily - treat yourself to a new journal to start on your trip.
Plan your day for a nervous system reset and grounding activity. Ex Breathwork, Yoga Nidra, Meditation.
If traveling with others, do not feel guilty for not doing every single thing with the group. Voice your needs. Just like I tell all my patients, be your best advocate.
Skip the typical happy hours. Schedule a massage or tour, or even a nap.
Activites! Spa day, sound baths, tours on foot, bikes, museums, hire a private guide, cooking lessons.
Adrenaline activities - something that gets you out of your normal day-to-day. The kind of activities that are uncomfortable in the best way. This can look like anything. Hot air balloons, swimming with sharks, skydiving, quad racing, desert camping, the list can go on and on. Explore some serious excitement. Spike your adrenaline, and feel how good it is to be alive.
Make sure you are not paying for alcohol. For example, all-inclusive resorts or tours with food and drinks.
POST-TRAVEL
Take a moment to honor and celebrate the experience you had without having to drink! It’s HUGE.
Share your experience with friends and family or fellow non-drinkers. Invite them to share in your pride!
Schedule at least a full day off before going back to work. I would rather have two days off at home than more time away. So I always schedule accordingly.
MY TRAVEL ESSENTIALS
Tinctures - Anything for the nervous system.
Supplements - L-Theanine, magnesium, CBD (maybe not welcomed everywhere?)
Essential oils - lavender, sleep mixes.
On the plane: I wear a large scarf to cover my head and bring large fluffy socks in my purse. Travel pillow with pillow case to take off and wash (I do not let my actual pillow touch anything). Headphones with all my pre-downloaded items. Water bottle with fresh water from the airport. Hand sanitizer/wipes. I also wear a mask. I love that this is normal now.
Toiletries. I pamper myself. For me, toiletries over clothing!
Silky long-sleeved, pant pajamas. Always.
Organic coconut oil - face wash/make-up remover, body lotion, light sunscreen, anti-bacterial/anti-microbial. *Remember, keep it in the fridge so it stays solid before heading to the airport. TSA can’t take away solid foods.
TIPS FROM THE COMMUNITY
Instead of using the company card for bar food and drink, go to wholefoods and load up on healthy food, supplements, and face masks for back at the hotel.
Accountability partners. For example, check in before dinner and tell them what you will be ordering, and then check in after dinner to tell them how it went.
Get to the bar early before co-workers show up and get a mocktail in a glass that actually looks like a cocktail. This is a great way to avoid an awkward conversation with co-workers about not drinking.
Nighttime pampering routine. Let it be long and drawn out. Vacation is the time to really give yourself the time.
Tell colleagues that you are working out after dinner, and so you are choosing not to drink with dinner.
Use jugs of water for portable weights.
The money saved not drinking, was used for another vacation!
For the paid subscribers, below are the detailed travel tips and a listicle via the Happy Hour we recorded back in January, as well as the beginning details on the writing retreat I will be attending in Morocco and where I will be staying, touring, eating and of course spa-ing. Can you say HAMMAM…..
Happy Hour replay on sober travel HERE
plus specific links
MOROCCO THE PLAN
At the end of September, I will be attending the Trust and Travel five-day writing retreat at the beyond gorgeous Kasbah Bab Ourika in the Atlas Mountain range. And by some serendipitous stars aligning, they just announced that the author of The Recovering, Leslie Jamison, will be guest teaching along with co-hosts Jade Moyano and Erin Rose. As mentioned above, I will be taking some time beforehand to adventure around Marrakech and maybe even some of the coastal towns. It all depends on how many days I will have available after I decide where to spend the start of my travels before heading to Morocco. If it was a perfect world I would spend a week here. However, in my attempt at making things easy, I will only do a direct flight to Europe and then a separate flight into Morocco. The less time on planes for me, the better I am as a human.
The possibilities that are swirling….
STAY
Riad Nelia De Marrakech Hotel Boutique & Spa
EAT/CHILL
El Fenn (at hotel)
Dar Dar rooftop
EXPERIENCE
Pool day at the Royal Mansour
The souks in the medina maze, of course.
Rug designer and boutique
*Pretty much as many Hammams as I can go to! I am a water spa baby through and through.
TOUR
And maybe a couple of day trips to Essaouira, Ouzoud Falls, and a desert camping experience (sans any camel riding).
Mia- what is your favorite travel pillow? I’m heading to Ladakh in August and that feels like a necessity for me. Also - do you take noise canceling headphones on your flights and if so what’s your favorite? I have an old pair of Beats that’s starting to break down so I’m in the market. Sounds like a great trip. Have so much fun