FAQ # 3
Why did you quit drinking?
A note from Mia:
I will be answering the most frequently asked questions that I have received from readers over the years. These answers will be my take on an aspect of an alcohol-free life. At the beginning of this journey for me, I found that reading about other women living a well-lived life without alcohol was very helpful. My internal compass moves when inspired, so I hope that I can share some of that here. PLEASE remember that all answers come from my perspective and may not be the right answers for you.
*Questions on the bottom are for you.
Why did you quit drinking?
“But you didn’t have a problem, did you???”
Literally, every one of my friends, even my mother, asked me this when I finally had the conversation with them that I had quit drinking. In these conversations, I would sum up my answer to some version of this: “You don’t have to have a drinking problem, for drinking to be a problem.” I think they got it.
I may not have been addicted to alcohol, but my drinking was not serving any purpose in my life. I knew that if I wanted the life I so desperately craved and so consistently talked about, then I had to get rid of what was holding me back. Alcohol was my common denominator in all roadblocks, setbacks, excuses, reasons, and justifications. Drinking alcohol kept me small, and I was tired of playing small, period. I finally wrapped my head around the fact that I was done drinking. I was no longer going to self-sabotage myself with bullshit happy hours and worthless hangovers.
“You don’t have to have a drinking problem, for drinking to be a problem”
The physical act of drinking is such common practice and so highly incorporated into our society that the promotion and glamorization are nearly invisible. It was only after I became a self-proclaimed Teetotaler that I realized the extreme amount of booze advertising that hits us on the daily. And it's not just those cheesy posters with some bikini-clad young girl holding a dewy wet bottle of beer that you see at an interstate truck stop. Today, the heavy hitters in promoting alcohol and the lifestyle around drinking alcohol are ironically the Health & Wellness Industry. The same industry I was so determined to keep up with.
No one can dispute that we are in a cyclone of a "healthy lifestyle" movement. We are cleaning up our lives, exercising more, becoming more aware of the food we eat and the effects of our choices on the environment. Millennials and beyond are finding financial freedom and new career paths by posting pictures on instagram of their breakfast smoothies, vegan dinner plates, and their latest hike up Runyon canyon. Publicly sharing our healthy choices is the new way of Keeping up with the Joneses.
“Publicly sharing our healthy choices is the new way of Keeping up with the Joneses”
In my twenties and thirties, I preached how "balanced" I was. At the time, I was teaching yoga, traveling through India, running races, doing the latest juice cleanse, working my ass off and earning three degrees in my free time. What did it matter if I was able to throw back a bottle of wine (and some beer, maybe even some tequila, oh, and don't forget the cigs) on any given night if I was taking shots of wheatgrass in the morning? I could defend my behavior with the old adage, "work hard, play hard."
But that's not what was happening. Using the term balance is an excuse, and it has got to go. Not only is it bullshit, but it is also grossly misused. In my opinion and my very own personal experience with it, "balance" is used as an excuse to do whatever the hell we want. So we are somehow off the hook and avoid any hot seat if we drink green juice and take HIIT classes even though we are pouring booze down our throats every night??
This is not healthy. This is the opposite of health.
Also, let's discuss the sneaky component of it all - if we highlight our IG worthy diets and fitness regimens (you know the KUWTJ bullshit), we can easily distract the attention away from our drinking habits if we promote it as cute and fun....right?!
The truth is that I was the epitome of that so-called health and wellness junkie. Still, if you looked closely, I was teetering on the edge that could have easily gone into drinking problem territory. And I was silently blowing up my own life by not listening to all the advice I was so quick to throw out at everyone else.
“The truth is that I was the epitome of the so-called healthy and motivated girl”
I loved appearing like I was walking my talk, and from all outside appearances, I was. I had the whole thing nailed down, but I knew the truth, which was hiding right beneath the surface. It was that I had been questioning my alcohol usage for years, and that inner voice of mine was becoming louder and loud. And when I would wake up from a long night out, look myself in the mirror, the answer to what life would be like if I continued drinking was all over my tired and puffy face. I could no longer be that person, I had to leave the party, and I had to remove the laid back fun girl mask I had been wearing longer than I could remember.
RESOURCES
ARTICLES
The Troubling Truth Behind an Overnight Instagram Success via Video
INTERVIEWS
The New Sobriety - The New York Times
Gray Area Drinking - TED Talk with Jolene Park
BOOKS
Authors story was the one that I connected with the most
Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington
Ruby also hosts sober events with Biet Simpkin in NYC
PODCASTS
Sober Curious with Ruby Warrington
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
If you are still drinking:
What does your inner voice tell you about drinking?
How is alcohol improving the quality of your life?
Do you find yourself complaining about how you need to “change” aspects of your - life, relationships, fitness, health, career, etc. But you just don’t have the - time, motivation, energy, etc. Do you spend more time sitting on a barstool complaining about life, rather than activelyndoing something about it? (it's ok, this was ME too)
Where has alcohol caused problems in your life?
How do you think your life would change if you were to quit?
If you have already quit:
List everything that you have been able to accomplish since quitting drinking. Remember it can be anything from writing a book to paying your bills on time. Every single thing is worth celebration and recognition.
List all the areas where your life has improved by not drinking.
Do you recognize anyone in your life who may be toeing the same line as the girl in the Louise Delage Campaign?