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I never wanted to be a nurse. Had someone told me when I was younger that I would eventually return to school (for my third degree) to study nursing, I would have walked away from such an obnoxious conversation. I remember my second grade teacher Mrs. Pink having us walk up to her desk to choose what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our options were laid out and separated into two piles. One for girls and one for boys. As a girl, my options were Homemaker, Cook, Teacher, or Nurse. As I looked down at these choices with the matching outlined stick figure smiling back at me, none appealed to me. I looked over at the boy's pile. Doctor, Lawyer, Truck Driver, and Accountant. Nope, nothing there either. As Mrs. Pink smiled at me, she asked what are you going to pick? Not returning the smile (queen of the blank stare dramatic pause even then), I slowly took the option of Teacher and walked back to my little desk. Not one to be defeated, I turned over the paper and started coloring the picture of what I wanted to be. I remember feeling so proud of myself when it was my turn to stand up and share the life of my future self with the unimaginative (and sexist) class. I titled it - Horse Rancher. I outlined and colored in a farm with a fence and as many horses and other animals all over that sheet of paper. I will never know where I got the title, Horse Rancher, but I will never forget it. I can only imagine my little 8-year-old brain was going for Veterinarian, but I was still learning to spell.
It's been several decades since I turned my back on choosing the nurse stick figure. But becoming a nurse has turned out to be one of my best life decisions. Simultaneously, it has also been one of my biggest stressors. And I'm still trying to figure out how long I want to continue doing this. I say that with a bit of sass, but it's true. Nursing is straight-up hard. I work in stressful conditions, with unbelievable workloads, under pressure from patients, families, co-workers, and the hierarchy of management, as well as my own self-imposed pressure to go-go-go and get absolutely everything done in half the time I'm expected to. And it has taken its toll on me mentally, physically and emotionally.
But this is not a woe is me newsletter. The opposite, actually. I am reminded on a daily of how freaking privileged and lucky I am.
I am able to use all aspects of my body.
I am able to make decisions on my own.
I can move without pain or assistance.
I am not fighting a detrimental or terminal disease. Nor are any of my loved ones.
I have a healthy & strong support system of friends and family.
I can support myself financially.
And when it comes to showing up here or over on IG or in my life in general, I come from a place where I have seen the worst of the worst. So this means I take everything else with a grain of salt, and I am constantly reminding myself (and my loved ones) of how lucky we are. I witness tragedy every day in unimaginable ways. After hearing a diagnosis, I see families that are changed in a split second. I have watched what can happen when we take our health for granted and don’t make the best choices. And I experience firsthand the burden of what people go through to save the little time they may have left on earth.
Life is not fair. We are not guaranteed anything. Nor are our loved ones. I don’t care who you are, how much money you have, your power, or your privilege. I am telling you, I see all walks of life changed or cut too damn short just like that.
Listen, a lot of this is the luck of the draw, but my attitude is this: I will do everything I can to put myself in the best position to have a long and healthy life. And if the cards that fall are not in my favor, at least I will have a solid base to work with.
If I could pass along one message to anyone willing to listen, it’s this, do what you can, when you can, while you can.
— Do what you can, when you can, while you can —
What nursing has taught me about myself and how I want to live my life has been priceless. And even though my profession can be mind-blowingly hard, it’s equally amazing. I mean, it’s absolutely the best. The connections I have made with my patients bring tears to my eyes. It is an absolute honor to do what I do.
And we can’t forget about the hilarity of it all. The shit I have seen and heard could turn a room full of angry hippos into laughing hyenas (I don’t know where that analogy just came from, but we’ll roll with it). Let’s just say if you ever find yourself at a dinner party with a nurse, that’s who you sit next to. Nurses are hands down the best hang.
So on that note, as a nurse, it drives me bonkers when I see people on the internet trolling others who are sharing information on caring for themselves. Whether it’s healthy eating, movement, stress relief, sleep tips, any and all of it. I know not everyone is coming from a good place. And there are a lot of people selling and promoting shit that we don’t need just so they can make a buck. But for the most part, you can tell when someone is actually coming from a well-intentioned and educated place. And, of course, you must always be discerning. But I really wish we could move on from the whole toxic wellness cancel culture crap. Honestly.
This coming month, The Sober Glow Studio is celebrating its one-year publishing date. I have been thinking a lot about what and how I share here.
I am quite fond of sharing what’s happening in my life in real-time. Connecting with others online authentically is freaking cool, especially when we know that having the ability to connect with people going through the same thing at the same time is not likely, given our busy lives and, of course, geography. So having a place to share all the things I like to dig deep on, try out, experiment with, and then report back - is exactly how I like to spend my time. My priority is to feel good in my body, and I want to encourage other women to do the same. We have to treat ourselves with love and respect. We have to make choices that are good for us. We have to take the Seat of the Queen. It’s the only way that I know how to set my future self up for success.
Take it from me. The alternatives are not great.
Once my choice to be a non-drinker was locked in, and after several years of sharing about it online, I naturally grew out of having that one single conversation around quitting. I feel this same sentiment from a lot of women I know. It's like, yes, we got this, we’re solid, now what.
There are so many, and I mean many-many people online talking about the early stages of quitting drinking. But I find that very few people are carrying the conversation into a broader arena.
Like most evolving things, this lifestyle choice has seasons and growth that need to be honored by keeping the conversation going. We are more than just that one decision; we all know this. It's just not necessarily represented appropriately. This is why I started The Sober Glow Studio. It's about exploring all the aspects of this lifestyle, and setting ourselves up as best we can.
More resources and broader conversations = more women learning to care for themselves in new ways.
For my curious folks who may be wondering what the Sober Glow Studio is all about, I have opened up FIVE favorite newsletters that normally live behind a paywall. Enjoy, they will be open to all for a bit.
BOOK CLUB (RECORDING): The Rebel's Apothecary: A Practical Guide to the Healing Magic of Cannabis, CBD, and Mushrooms by Jenny Sansouci.
BELOVED BOOK LIST for the new teetotaler. These are my personal favorites, the ones I always recommend and why.
MUSINGS. Vol. 01. Why I no longer use the word sober
I'll Have What She's Having... vol. 2. Sept in NYC
MIDLIFE part 2. Seven things I wish I would have known